


our days

by hyungkiss



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, HyungHyuk - Freeform, Hyungki, M/M, character death but not too extreme..., just sad, kihyun cheers up hyungwon, sad hyungwon, unrequited love at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 08:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20188942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyungkiss/pseuds/hyungkiss
Summary: all the uncountable number of times you made me happy,and that one time you broke my heart.all written down especially for you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi its me again back with another hyungki au!!!!! but surprise surprise theres also hyunghyuk in here :0
> 
> anyways this was something i wrote 3 years ago (also posted it on aff: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1200681/our-days) but i decided to post it on here too bc why not... ++ minor changes made and typos finally fixed. maybe. hopefully.

_ **to. my minhyuk** _

_ _

  
_ **you always create trouble for me and make me worried.** _

_ _

_ **the day you confessed to me.** _

_ **while waiting for the morning bus to arrive, you suddenly went up to me and confessed in that loud voice of yours.** _

_ **"i like you. please go out with me!" you said.** _

_ **you attracted many students' attention with the stunt you pulled. and even though i happily accepted, please think of where we're at before you attempt something like that again.** _

_ _

_ **the day we had our first date.** _

_ **i overslept and arrived 3 hours later than the promised time.** _

_ **honestly? i thought you were going to leave, thinking i stood you up.** _

_ **but you didn't. i'm so glad you didn't.** _

_ **it was the best date i've ever experienced.** _

_ _

_ **the day we bought comics together.** _

_ **comics aren't my cup of tea but you somehow managed to persuade me into buying that series you've been collecting.** _

_ **you were running so quickly on the way back, that you tripped and ruined it.** _

_ **do you remember? i ran as fast as i could back to the bookstore just to buy you a new one.** _

_ **and although it was tiring, the smile you gave me afterwards made it feel like it was nothing.** _

_ **that was when i realised that i'd do practically anything just to see that smile on your face again.** _

_ _

_ **the day we went to the beach together.** _

_ **i lost sight of you when you spotted a dolphin in the ocean. that's what you claimed you saw anyways.** _

_ **searching for you was tiring.** _

_ **after that day, i held onto your hand so tightly wherever we go so that you'll never leave me again.** _

_ **guess i should've held on tighter, huh?** _

_ _

_ **the day i won you a plush toy at the carnival.** _

_ **your eyes were brimming with tears as you <strike>squeezed</strike> hugged me, with the toy stuck in between us.** _

_ **i could feel the people around us staring, but you wouldn't pull away.** _

_ **i didn't want you to pull away.** _

_ _

_ **the day we celebrated your birthday together.** _

_ **we stayed out late until midnight that day, losing track of time from enjoying each other's company.** _

_ **your parents scolded me for sending you home late.** _

_ **i got scolded by my parents for coming home late.** _

_ **but it was one of the best days of my life and i'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.** _

_ _

_ **the day you confronted me about your illness.** _

_ **"why are you telling me this now?"** _

_ **"did i not deserve to know?"** _

_ **"why did you kept it a secret from me?"** _

_ **there were so many things i wanted to say to you but i kept quiet.** _

_ _

_ **the day we had our first sleepover <strike>(as a couple)</strike>.** _

_ **you were so full of spirits, even more than usual.** _

_ **you danced around, played video games, and even prank called our friends.** _

_ **you did everything but sleep. i stayed up too.** _

_ _

_ **the day you told me your illness has been cured.** _

_ **i was so happy... and so relieved to hear that you were finally getting better.** _

_ **nothing could've prepared me for what was about to happen next.** _

_ **i wish you would've told me.** _

_ _

_ **the day you told me you were moving far away; the day you bid me farewell.** _

_ **i felt like yelling.** _

_ **but i held myself back. it was really, really, really hard.** _

_ **why is this happening? and all of a sudden too?** _

_ **why are you moving away? why are you leaving me behind?** _

_ **i felt like my heart was breaking into pieces when you hugged me for the last time.** _

_ **i couldn't stop my tears from falling when you promised me we'll see each other again someday.** _

_ **if only...** _

_ _

_ **the days you constantly called me.** _

_ **"there's no point in moving away if you're just gonna annoy me like you never left,"** _

_ **"but i miss you,"** _

_ **"... then keep calling,"** _

_ _

_ **the day i stopped getting calls from you.** _

_ **i did everything i could to distract myself even if it didn't help at all.** _

_ **i kept staring at my phone hoping you'd finally call so i can hear your voice again.** _

_ **you never did.** _

_ _

_ **the day i entered college.** _

_ **i received a letter from you.** _

_ **i couldn't stop myself from smiling upon reading your name, written hastily on the back.** _

_ **i was really happy.** _

_ **but when i opened the letter, i realised there was a smaller one attached to it.** _

_ **it was written by your mum. ** _

_ **naturally, i read the one you wrote first. ** _

_ **you wrote about all the memories we had, much like what i'm writing to you right now. ** _

_ **seeing your handwriting after so long brought some sort of comfort to me.** _

_ **but it also made my heart ached. i missed you so much and all i wanted to do was run to you.** _

_ **i couldn't. no matter how much i wanted to.** _

_ **after reading the letter from your mum, everything made sense. ** _

_ **why you had to move.** _

_ **why you stopped calling.** _

_ **and why i suddenly received this letter.** _

_ **minhyuk.** _

_ **why did you do this to me?** _

_ **feeding me those lies, convincing me that you were getting better.** _

_ **why didn't you tell the truth?  
** _

_ **i'm your boyfriend. didn't i have the right to know?** _

_ **we were supposed to be there for each other until the end.** _

_ **no matter how hard it gets.** _

_ **"i love you."** _

_ **you wrote at the bottom of your letter.** _

_ **that phrase. i wanted to hear it come out from your own mouth.** _

_ **not like this.** _

_ **i've written a lot of complaints about you, but one thing is for sure.** _

_ **and that is...** _

_ **whenever i'm with you,** _

_ ** i can never stop smiling. ** _

_ **whenever i'm with you, ** _

_ **i enjoy myself to the fullest, no matter what we were doing.** _

_ **i never have to pretend or hide the real me around you because you loved me for who i am.** _

_ **i'm really thankful towards everything you've done for me.** _

_ **you brought me out of my shell but never pressured me to do anything i didn't want to.** _

_ **you understood me without needing me to tell you everything.** _

_ **you're my forever after.** _

_ **or at least you were supposed to be.** _

_ **ever since then, i've been afraid to fall in love again.** _

_ **i'm a coward.** _

_ **i can't bear to be in a relationship again after what happened to us.** _

_ **after what happened to you.** _

_ **and even if i did have the courage, it'll never even come close to what we had.** _

_ **you were my first love and i was determined on making you my last too.** _

_ **but the other day, i received a parcel from you which... was odd.** _

_ **i slowly ripped it open, expecting and preparing for the worst to happen.** _

_ **i peeked inside and saw your journal, the one you wrote in everyday. ** _

_ **"it's so that i can look back and think about all the happy memories i've had with you,"** _

_ **i remember the exact words you said when i kept questioning why you brought it around everywhere.** _

_ **your favourite earring was inside the parcel too, kept safely in a transparent bag. ** _

_ _

_ **even though you're no longer here...** _

_ **you're still causing trouble for me, aren't you?  
** _

_"hyungwon,_

_after i'm gone, please don't just sit around and mourn over me._

_i want you to go outside and look for a new love. _

_find someone you love, more than me._

_find someone who can make you happy and is able to be there with you forever._

_because hyungwon, you deserve happiness._

_you deserve love._

_this is my last request to you._

_thank you for everything. i love you, my forevermore."_

** _your favourite earring._ **

** _i turned it into a necklace and wear it at all times now._ **

** _it's starting to act like a lucky charm to me. _ **

** _you used to be my lucky charm._ **

** _because i wanted to grant your final request, i found a new love._ **

** _thank you._ **

** _for all the happiness you've given me._ **

** _i love you, _ **

** _my guiding light, my morning star._ **

** _and i always will._ **

** _goodbye._ **

** _with love, _ **

** _hyungwon._ **


	2. final.

november 3rd.

it was a brisk fall day; the perfect day for an autumn walk, but not perfect enough.

the clouds overlap each other, making the sky a gloomy gray as hyungwon makes his way up fort hill. he takes a look at the golden and red coloured leaves as they fall in herald of the coming winter, thinking of everything that has happened in the last few months. distracting himself from his thoughts, hyungwon quickly rushes up the hill towards his destination as his thinning shirt cannot keep out the november chill.

as hyungwon slowly pushes the rustling gate of this barren and cold place open, death welcomes him. old and carved tombstones that has witnessed the tears of laughter, the tears of guilt guides him the way throughout the graveyard. hyungwon hasn’t been here since the incident happened. he couldn’t bring himself to come and visit. coming here would mean accepting that minhyuk is no longer there and hyungwon wasn’t prepared for that. but, today was a special day. it was minhyuk’s birthday.

minhyuk’s grave was not too far away from the entrance, saving hyungwon some time as he gushes his way over to where minhyuk’s tombstone was laid beneath a medium-sized yellowwood tree. he gently traces the letters etched onto the cold cement and places his small bouquet of lotus flowers.

a lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is exactly how a lotus flower grows. when hyungwon found out the meaning of this flower, he knew that this was the one. just like the lotus flower, he wishes minhyuk could rise from this dark, gloomy place and be reborn again as something much more beautiful than he already was.

the tall male breathes in a shaky breath, allowing the heavy mist that hangs in the air to enter his lungs. he slowly crouches down on both knees and faces minhyuk’s tombstone with an anxious smile.

“hey, minhyuk,” he said with an unsteady voice. “i’m sorry i haven’t visited you. i felt like, if i came here, then that would mean fully accepting the fact that you’re no longer here, you know?”

he stares and stops talking, almost as if he was waiting for some kind of response from his ex-lover. when he realises he was getting none, he sighs and smiles a sad smile.

“why did you leave me, minhyuk? it’s not fair…i really, really miss you, alright?” his voice trembles on the edge of tears and the strong front he was trying to put on slowly shatters. he feels helpless, all alone in this cemetery as an autumn gust blows, making the leaves of the yellowwood tree rustle against each other.

he feels broken and he doesn’t like it.

hyungwon starts sobbing uncontrollably as the harsh reality of his minhyuk never coming back hits him. he remembers all the memories he’s created with the smaller male and he slams his fist on the ground.

“you promised me…you promised that we would be together. so why, minhyuk? why did you leave me all alone?” his trembling voice breaks, filled with so much raw emotion. he wipes his tears harshly with the back of his hands and stares into space, letting autumn’s sweet breath fades in like a softly sung hymm.

__________________________________________________________________________________

hyungwon slowly makes his way down the hill when he sees a small dark-haired male standing alone by the roadside. he smiles to himself and carefully makes his way towards the latter to greet him.

“you should’ve waited at the diner nearby, kihyun. now i feel guilty for making you wait alone in this cold weather,” hyungwon said.

kihyun turns around to see hyungwon stood beside him, with a small smile etched on his face. “it’s fine, it’s not cold out anyways,” he replied. “so?”

the taller male looks at kihyun with an arched eyebrow making kihyun sigh. “how do you feel right now?”

“what do you mean how i feel? of course i’m feeling nothing but the cold right now. so, stop talking and let’s go somewhere warm, shall we?” hyungwon exclaims with a grin, wrapping his arm around the smaller male in the process.

“hyungwon,” the tall brunet’s footsteps come to a halt when he hears the tone of voice kihyun is using. “i’m being serious. are you okay?”

hyungwon lets go of kihyun’s shoulders and gives him a shaky smile. “i’m fine. don’t worry, alright?” he replies. he wishes kihyun would get the hint and drop the subject; which he fortunately does, and they continue making their way towards the diner.

the whole time they were walking side by side, hyungwon couldn’t help but compare minhyuk to kihyun.

ex-lover to current lover.

kihyun who has always been there for hyungwon. he was nearly the same height as minhyuk, and although he wasn’t as loud and energetic like minhyuk, he still gave off the same vibe like he did. so much differences between the both of them, but somehow similar in a way.

hyungwon couldn’t help but notice the biggest difference between both of his lovers and that is the fact that kihyun is there. kihyun is alive and breathing, while minhyuk isn’t. kihyun is standing right there beside him, while minhyuk isn’t. minhyuk, his minhyuk. his minhyuk is no longer there and hyungwon doesn’t know how to feel about that.

kihyun was the total opposite of minhyuk.

kihyun was the one who gave hyungwon another reason to continue on living, to continue smiling when everything hit rock bottom. kihyun, who knew that hyungwon could never love him like he loved minhyuk but yet he still stood by his side.

maybe, just maybe, it’s finally the time to give kihyun a chance. 


End file.
